can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize