I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
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