its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
Someone stole a lamp last night.
Randomize
