look no pants
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
