There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
Randomize
