Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
Randomize
