yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
God I need to hump something, right now.
Randomize
