...so i touched it.
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
At least life still wants to fuck me.
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Randomize
