He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
