1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Randomize
