you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
Randomize
