I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Randomize
