I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
Randomize
