Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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