I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize