Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
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