margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
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