If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
Randomize
