Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Randomize
