I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
Randomize
