More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
Randomize
