If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
Do you remember whose house we're in?
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
Randomize
