Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
Randomize
