As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Randomize
