i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
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