Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
