I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Randomize
