watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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