thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
So vagazzling was a success
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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