i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
Randomize
