Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
