"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.
Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize