I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
Randomize
