it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
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