i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
i think i scared a bird with my dick
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
Randomize
