You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
he thought i was a dude.
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
Randomize