He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
Randomize
