how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
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