Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
Dear sober self: your car keys are in the glove compartment, your car is outside the church. I hope you're reading this from your own bed instead of someone else's.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
Can you bring me the toilet please
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
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