I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
Randomize
