So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
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