Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
Randomize