8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
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