whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
Randomize