Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
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