My phone auto-corrects smirnoff to poisoned. I think it is trying to tell me something.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
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