peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
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