The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
Please don't give away my fajitas
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
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