He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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