is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Randomize
