i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
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