Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
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