We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
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