420 ftw
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
Randomize
