Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
Mike is offhisass drunk and just sat down next to my sister and said "If you gained 30 pounds and stopped reading poetry, I would be attracted to you. Now, your little sister, attractive, even though she's basically the same person as you- she just pulls it off better because she's 15."
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
Randomize
