Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
Randomize
