garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Randomize
