I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
Randomize
