they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
Life is so much better after having sex.
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
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