On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
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