I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
