Non-Jews are for practice
just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
Randomize
