So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
I need to wash the frat house off of me
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
Randomize
